When we discover that we are highly sensitive, what we had perceived as flaws, adjustment problems and a feeling of not belonging, usually shatters. We realize that we actually have extraordinary qualities and abilities. But despite our many unique talents and positive traits, many highly sensitive people sometimes have a hard time feeling good about themselves. They often feel like aliens having landed, against their will, in a world that does not understand them and is not adapted to their needs, their sensitivity and their empathy.
Challenges and feelings that often recur among highly sensitive people and empaths:
Feeling inadequate and defective therefore unacceptable
Being different (no matter what the difference) always creates a feeling of alienation. Human beings are social animals who need to feel like they belong, are accepted and included. When we feel different and fingers are pointed at us by those around us and society, we can be led to believe that something is wrong with us and needs to be changed. We manage to convince ourselves that we are intrinsically defective. Without understanding and accepting our traits, this feeling can stay with us for life.
When people around us bully us and try to change us into being someone else since our childhood, how can we not doubt ourselves, have low self-esteem, not be consumed by anxiety, and sometimes even sink into depression.
Feeling completely alone and isolated.
Highly sensitive people are often overwhelmed by the stimuli in their environment. Their sensory sensitivity leads them to avoid any situation that can overstimulate them, such as noisy or too bright places, crowded or hectic areas. But in a society where we are constantly assailed by stimuli of all kinds... whether in traffic or public transport, in an open-plan office or at sporting events where we accompany our children, it is difficult to escape from daily stressors. So as soon as they have the opportunity, highly sensitive people tend to withdraw in order to recharge. This often involves not going out, refusing invitations to be able to control all stimulation, and not finding themselves in borderline situations of emotional overflow.
Highly sensitive people therefore often find themselves faced with an inner dilemma because they like to be connected to others, but are forced to choose solitude to maintain their nervous system. They can therefore feel alone and isolated if they are not surrounded by people who respect and understand their needs. If they do not have a caring and understanding environment, they will self-isolate so as not to be a burden to others and to avoid finding themselves in situations that destabilize them.
Absorb negative emotions.
The great empathy of highly sensitive people allows them to understand others, what they feel, and to put themselves “in their shoes”. Sometimes, however, they themselves do not realize that this ability goes beyond feeling, they absorb the emotions of others which does not only have benefits. When emotions are positive, highly sensitive people are at their peak and feel immense joy. But the same is true when emotions are negative. From one second to the next they can find themselves completely paralyzed, exhausted and drained in the presence of a person (or group) who is in physical or emotional pain, anger or any other negative emotion. This can be particularly confusing because it is sometimes difficult to distinguish and separate what are their own emotions and what are those of others.
Highly sensitive people can therefore be confused, drained, anxious and fearful when they find themselves in this type of situation. They can be victims of panic attacks frequently if they do not learn to dissociate their emotions from those of others.
Feeling misunderstood.
Because the term sensitivity is often associated with fragility and weakness, highly sensitive people are often faced with incomprehension and judgment from others. Add to this the fact that their needs and functioning are slightly different from the majority, they are classified as maladaptive beings.
The most important thing is really how we perceive ourselves and not believing the judgments made because of ignorance of our traits. Our innate gifts are not to be blamed, underestimated, or defined as a flaw. On the contrary, hypersensitivity must be recognized, understood and valued. In a context where we tend to do everything to camouflage our traits to feel integrated, it is not always easy to recognize that there are other people like us. You can meet them every day and not know that you have another highly sensitive person in front of you, because this person will do the same as you, they will hide their sensitivity by all means. But when you analyze the numbers - we are 20% of the population - you realize that you are not as strange or isolated as you imagine.
We are not aliens. We are an integral part of the human race. Perhaps we are here to bring more understanding, compassion, empathy and humanity to the world, which is exactly what this world needs.
Many people miss our caring character with great insight and deep intuition. I believe that we are here to soften, pacify and unite human beings in a harsh, aggressive and divided world. Don't let anyone make you believe otherwise, be authentic and continue your mission to make the world a better place.
(Not sure if you're highly sensitive? Here are the signs of a highly sensitive person. You can also take the test here)
So, are highly sensitive people aliens? Of course not ! Maybe it feels like it sometimes, but I see us as humans who were lucky enough to be born with special talents to help others. Strange? A little. Not sure of themselves? Yes, if we are constantly harassed. Destined to live in isolation? Certainly not !
So if sometimes we have the impression of being from another world, it is because we still have a lot to do so that our uniqueness becomes a great asset in the eyes of all... and above all, in our eyes! But we undeniably belong to the world in which we live. Never doubt it!
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