Awakening and the Unspoken Grief that comes with it

Awakening is a paradox - a journey toward truth and liberation that can feel like you’re losing everything you thought mattered. For 15 years, I’ve walked this intricate and often challenging road, and while it has brought incredible growth and clarity, it has also brought a kind of grief I wasn’t prepared for. So today, I feel compelled to shed light on an aspect of awakening that is rarely discussed: the unspoken grief that comes with it.

The grief of healing.

The grief of awakening.

The grief of seeing clearly.

And the grief of becoming someone your family may never fully understand.

If you’re feeling this way, I want you to know: you’re not alone, and you’re not broken. What you’re experiencing is deeply human, even if it feels unbearable at times.

We don’t talk enough about the grief that comes with awakening. It’s not just the pain of realizing your old life was built on illusions - it’s the loss of those illusions themselves. And they’re not just abstract ideas; they’re parts of you.

You grieve the belief that the world was safe and predictable.

You grieve the comforting lies that told you if you just followed the rules, everything would be okay.

You grieve the simplicity of seeing life through a narrow, unquestioning lens.

And then there’s the grief of relationships. This one is especially hard. You might find that people you once felt deeply connected to now seem impossibly far away. Conversations that once felt meaningful now feel shallow, like you’re speaking two different languages. There’s the ache of realizing some relationships can’t survive the changes in you - and the sting of watching people you love dismiss, ridicule, or misunderstand your journey. It’s heartbreaking to feel so disconnected from family and friends who don’t see what you see.

But it doesn’t stop there. Awakening can strip away societal beliefs that once gave you a sense of identity or purpose. Maybe you grieve the career you thought would bring fulfillment, only to realize it was chasing someone else’s dream. Maybe it’s the loss of faith in systems you trusted - education, religion, politics - that now seem hollow or corrupt. Or perhaps it’s the simple but painful longing for the ignorance you left behind. There’s a reason they say ignorance is bliss. When you awaken to harsh realities, you can’t unsee them, and sometimes it feels like a heavy weight you carry everywhere you go.

Some of the grief is subtler, sneaking up on you in unexpected moments. You might grieve the time you wasted living in fear or pursuing things that didn’t matter. Or the years you spent silencing your own voice to fit in. There’s even the bittersweet grief of recognizing your own potential and mourning the version of yourself who didn’t know better.

The truth is, this path can be one of the loneliest of human experiences. Awakening isn’t something you can explain easily to those who haven’t experienced it. There will be days when you feel like an alien in your own life, disconnected from the people and places that once felt like home. But please hear me: this loneliness doesn’t mean you’re lost. It means you’re growing.

And you’re not truly alone. I promise, there are others out there - like me - who understand exactly what you’re going through. Even if we’re miles apart, we are connected in spirit, purpose, and soul. When you feel like you’re drowning in grief, remember that you are part of a larger tapestry of awakening souls. Together, we are creating something beautiful out of the chaos.

I won’t pretend it’s easy. It’s not. Awakening will ask everything of you - your courage, your resilience, your ability to sit with darkness and still find the light. But it’s also worth it. For every loss, there is a gain. For every tear, a new clarity. You’re not just letting go of illusions; you’re making space for truth, love, and purpose to grow.

And in those moments when it feels too much, remember this: you are deeply loved - by God, by the universe, and by those of us walking this road beside you. I see you. I honor your journey. And I’m here to remind you that you don’t have to do this alone.

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